Ron's Journal

12:29am: Las Vegas
So, William and I are going to Las Vegas during part of our spring break - that's March 22 to 27, for those of you who are on a semester system (which is foreign to me as I've always had a quarter-based college schedule). We're driving there since we figure we will need a car to get around Las Vegas if we want to get off the Strip.

Is there anything that you recommend us to do while we're there? William and I only have a vague sense of what we could do while we're there, but no plans are set at all (other than the hotel where we're staying).

11:48pm: I haven't posted in this journal in a long time, so I thought I'd make some general remarks about my life.

William and I are doing well. We moved together last June in this pretty comfy (but also pretty run down) apartment in Escondido Village (the graduate housing cluster). We had some trouble with housing at the beginning of the summer because I was dumb enough to make my housing request through the disability resource center here so we were limited to only the ADA-accessible apartments. This meant no kitchen space for us (for wheelchair accessibility) and a weirdly designed bathroom. We've made do with these conditions and have made this apartment our home. We really should decorate these walls as they are as bare as they can get, though.

My chemistry research is still pretty stillborn, though we have taken on a new direction. I haven't really done much this quarter since I've been involved in my real passion at Stanford - teaching. I am currently head TAing for the third quarter of organic chemistry for the third time, and this has been the busiest TAing experience I've had. Since there was a high enrollment of students, I had to open two new sections that I have been enjoying leading - I miss being a normal TA (though I do not miss the lower pay that I would be earning if I had this position). We have a good group of TAs this time, which I'm grateful for - there are two very bright graduate students who seem to care about the students' learning the material, and there is an undergraduate TA who I've heard is doing a good job (even though he mysteriously disappears right after every lecture). Believe it or not, I actually miss working with Professor Trost - his style of course administration is much more in tune with mine compared to the current professor of the course.

I am not dumb enough to be TAing an ASL class this year - I don't think I'll ever do that again. What I am, however, being dumb enough to do is taking a biology class this year at Foothill College. I want to keep my future options open and one of these options requires that I take a full year of biology plus labs, which I am currently doing. The class I'm taking now is pretty much identical to the class that I took in high school - the textbook is even by the same author (though the book I have now is a more current edition). The class is so watered down, though - the biochemistry that we are discussing currently is a very, very hollowed out version of the chemistry that was discussed in Stanford's biocore last year, and the cell biology this time around is so unbelievably simple compared to the material that Cyert taught last year. In their defense, though, the biocore at Stanford is reputed to be among the most difficult biology sequences in the country.

At this point, I am not sure what I want to do with my life in the future. I think I'll devote this topic to a separate post at a later date, though.

1:17am: There was a party tonight that took place in Terra - which is the (unofficial) gay house. There was basically a 1980s theme and people did a great job dressing up for the occasion - fashion disasters galore. The sort of costumes that people wore - that whole let-themselves-loose kind of costume - definitely brought out the best qualities to a person's appearance (that is, quite a few people were smoking hot in their costumes). But I am not writing about that. I am writing about something that happened that is (somewhat) unrelated to the party.

I was sitting in the sitting room, where the lights were off except for a few dim lights scattered about the room. I sat there for about an hour, just contemplating different things. I started to think about some sad thoughts, so that put me in a little bit of a funk while I was sitting there. Suddenly, a person came into the room, approached me, and gave me one of the best hugs I have had in a long, long, long time. He then looked at me in the eyes and asked if I wanted to go on the dance floor and dance with him - not in a pickup sort of sense, but in a genuine I-want-to-cheer-you-up kind of way. I was not in the mood for dancing, so I declined his offer, even after he asked me a couple more times. He then got up and told me that, if I wanted to dance with him, I could let him know, and then he left the room.

Now, he is not a person that I have actually met, but I know who he is and we've seen each other every once in a long while, but I don't think we've ever introduced ourselves to each other. He seemed to know that I was deaf, though but he could just look that way because the music was really, really loud.

I was completely blown away by the whole thing taking place. I mean, here is a guy who the only thing I know about him is his name, and he seemed to have come over to cheer me up. This kind of thing has never happened to me before. Well, his intentions were definitely successful - I was quite touched by the whole gesture. I am tempted to be cynical and say that someone put him up to it, but I will go ahead and hope for the best - that he did it because he wanted to. This was such a small thing for him to do but it meant so much to me. Such an act of kindness is something I see happen once in a blue moon, and that's what makes these acts so much more precious. I will never forget this night or that man, for that reason.

Edit: after reading this, the event doesn't sound like a lot, but it is really hard to describe what happened within these few minutes.

3:51pm: The RID conference
What a week! 2,500 people attended the RID conference in San Francisco, and completely took over the Mariott and Parc 55 hotels in downtown San Francisco. I met some people from all over the country, learned some mighty useful things in the workshops I took (and earned 2.2 CEUs), and took part in the proceedings of the RID business meeting.

I think the workshop that was most valuable for me was the one on hospital interpreting since it addressed nearly every hospital job that I could think of in the various professions of medicine. Things discussed were basic terminology, what situations would be encountered, and how interpreters could address these situations. The same two medical interpreters also taught a medical terminology class, but that was just a vocabularly building workshop rather than a workshop that actually taught medicinal signs, which was a shame. Still, it was a great taste of the medical world in the eyes of an interpreter.

The workshops that were more obviously appealing for me were the CDI workshops, which also encompassed deaf-blind interpreting. Unfortunately, the level of the audience that the speakers assumed was very basic - and Chris, during the two years in our relationship, had already taught me everything that was taught in the workshop save for hands-on experience. In addition, there was an air of elitism for the CDIs towards the hearing interpreters - we do hire CDIs because they do some things that hearing intepreters are just not as experienced or qualified in, but the CDIs put a negative spin on that positive asset. It just rubbed me the wrong way, and I can't believe that the hearing interpreter that I went to the workshop with (Joseph) took on all of that mudslinging without saying anything.

I have heard that the legal interpreting workshops were excellent this year, but unfortunately, for most of those workshops, I was at a CDI workshop. Booooo.

Aside from the workshops, the proceedings of the various meetings that I attended made me feel more motivated to get involved in RID-related activities. I attended three meetings - one for the BLeGIT section [LGBT members, basically], one for the legal interpreters, and one for the general RID public. The last of the three was conducted in parliamentary format, which was interesting to observe and take part in - I was glad I went, since there was a hot topic this year. Basically, the question was whether certified interpreters who did not get RID certification should obtain voting rights equal to certified RID members - and these certified people would be in a group renamed "credentialed" members. I very much disagree with that idea, and right now, the idea will be submitted to a task force and voted on in the 2009 RID conference in Philadelphia, PA. [I am actually looking forward to going to Philadelphia since I will be 45 minutes west of Adam's hometown - I have known Adam for seven years now, but still haven't met him!]

I haven't decided if I should be a member of the Northern California RID or the Washington state RID. I think I'll go to the NorCRID conference this year and see how it goes. I can't go to the WSRID conference since it is too close to my Washington, DC trip, unfortunately. I'm also looking forward to going to the Region V conference in sunny Sacramento next summer.

Other than that, not much is new with me.

11:13pm: There is a national conference this weekend in San Francisco for interpreters around the world through the Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf. The "preconference" and opening ceremony was today, and it was absolutely fantastic. I am extremely excited for the rest of the conference!!! :-D

1:18am: A testament to the noblest dog I have ever known.
MARCH 1994.

The first puppy that the Painter family had was born; six weeks later, I met this Scottish Terrier for the very first time and held him in my 11-year-old hands. Our family named him Bandit not because he looked like a bandit of any kind, but because he simply stole our hearts. He was one tiny puppy - he could stand on all four legs in one hand, and I always had to be careful when getting up from my reclining chair lest the puppy get squished under the footrest.

His favorite toy was this worn-out cotton knot and he enjoyed wrestling with it with another person or dog when he was young. His favorite pastime was digging holes in the flowerbeds - he had quite strong hindlegs and he obviously liked to put them to good use.

Bandit oversaw several changes from his vantage point. We moved to a new, bigger house (with a bigger yard that he could dig holes in). We got, and three years later, lost Clementine (another Scottish Terrier), his first and probably closest companion. Four years after Clementine, we got Isabella and, one and a half years later, Lily May - both Scottish Terriers - that kept Bandit company while he grew old. He lost most of his hearing and sight, and gray hair gradually crept into his once black fur coat. Every night, when my parents would make their way to the bedroom to go to bed, Izzy and Lily would follow along but old Bandit would be napping peacefully - and Izzy or Lily would have to turn around and let Bandit know that it was time for bed - and Bandit would clomp his way down the hallway to the bedroom.

Bandit was truly a gentledog - passive and at times timid. If I touched him to give him a pet, he would jump at the first touch, every time. And he would come to you when he wanted to give you his love, slowly and gently. He was never an "in your face" kind of dog, very much unlike the other four dogs that I've had in my lifetime - he was very much a follower. He was also a strong thumper if I scratched the right places on his body, and after I finished, he would always try to rub that place on the carpet and finish with a big, lumbering roll across his back and a quick shake at the end. Always complacent, he was a loyal dog who had a big heart and a lot of love to give (mostly from the tongue baths that he liked to give with his long tongue, hence his name sign).

And so, on July 21, 2007, Bandit passed away due to kidney failure. It was honestly his time to go - his health had been failing and I think he was ready to move on. My biggest sadness is that I was not there to bid him goodbye and wish him a safe journey to a better place. Nonetheless, Bandit had a happy and largely healthy life, and I am grateful to have had him as my first real pet. When I was living at home, Bandit was always at my side when I slept - at the foot of his bed, likely incessantly grooming his paws or sleeping, and I miss that. I miss him jumping and standing on his rear paws for a second whenever I had a treat for him. And most of all, I miss his tendency to snuggle at my side as I pet him, returning the love that he loved to give me as well as the family.



You will always have a place in my heart because you were always kind to me when no one else was, and you always had love to give. I am, in part, happy that you and Clementine will now finally be together again, after seven years of being apart. Requiescat in pace, Bandit...

12:59am: The VGCats Valentines are cute, but I think my favorite is this one from Four Color Rebellion:



Isn't that uber-adorable?!

11:36pm: Reflections of 2006
I ganked this meme from nucleophile, by the way.

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11:51pm: this week
Today was the last day of finals week, and it has been packed with ASL-related final tasks. We have given the students two weeks to get together with another student and come up with a conversation (that contains several required elements). We taped those conversations over three days at the beginning of this week, and we also had the students do a sort of pop quiz at the end, signing 20 vocabulary words, 5 sentences, and 3 classifiers. Then grading those finals took several afternoons and a solid Thursday. This reminds me of how utterly time-consuming grading language courses can be - we have a written test (which is "easy" to grade), but we also have to evaluate an individual's communication skills in the language (which takes about 15-20 minutes per person). This time adds up very, very quickly. So now I have zero sympathy for people who complain that grading a chemistry final can take up to five or six hours for 300 people - they should try grading 50 15-20 minute presentations on top of that, taking care to record any errors that the signers make :)

I'm looking forward to going to Washington and visiting my friends handspeakboy and dcgommenginger in Seattle as well as my family. It turns out that I will "unfortunately" miss the gathering of my dad's side of the family, which takes place the day before I arrive. Shucks. I wonder if my cousin Paul will be in town this year - he strongly takes after his aunt and maintains absolutely zero contact with any member of the family, including his own mother (though I can't really blame him for the latter). I also wonder what I will do during the two-week break. I hope my family made their usual sweets this year - fudge, Christmas cookies, shortbread cookies, peanut brittle ... those were amazing last year.

5:14pm: Update.
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Other than that... nothing much is new with me. My parents will be in town on the 8th and 9th, and I am probably going home after the 15th. We'll see. William will be gone for the entire holiday, so there's not much reason for me to stick around here.

9:29pm: No, I'm not dead.
Livejournal posts for me come in cycles. There is a point where I feel motivated and driven to post about my daily routines day after day, and even several times a day. And then something happens. And then I stop and fall into LiveJournal silence for months at a time. Until I reach the point where I feel like updating and then I start posting regularly ... until the cycle begins once again. Let's see how long I last this time, shall we?

This summer has largely been a good one for me. Most of the things I did this summer centered around William - the two of us are still going strong (six months at September's end!) and whatever complaints I had about William way back at the beginning of the relationship have largely resolved themselves. So, by gay men's standards, William and I are practically married ... which is far from the truth since neither of us are quite ready for that much of a commitment. William has for all practical purposes kept his interest in learning sign language, which is excellent although there is one significant drawback to learning ASL from me. What is that, you ask? I speak when I sign and William, much like pretty much every other hearing person on the planet, has learned to understand and rely on my voice more than my signs to understand me. This is yet another incentive for me to try and break that horrid total communication (or more accurately, simultaneous communication) habit that I grew up under and use exclusively ASL. It is extremely hard for me to do that, though, because I've been doing this my entire life.

When William went off to China, I had two people come to visit me who had never been to the Bay Area before (or visited it briefly): dcgommenginger and handspeakboy. So, in essence, I got to see all of the touristy stuff twice in the same month. That isn't bad, because this will likely be the last time I will get to go sightseeing in the Bay Area for the duration of my stay here at Stanford. They were wonderful, wonderful guests and I had an amazing time having visitors - it makes me wish that I had friends here that I could hang out with like that since I had such great conversations with these two each night. It's better now that I have William back, but William has made a point that I shouldn't have him as my only friend here and he's right. The problem is who I should try to contact and befriend - and how I should approach that exactly. We'll see what comes of this.

Research has largely been obstacle-ridden - I'm kind of beginning to question whether I belong here because I've been spending the past year on this project and haven't really gotten anywhere yet. Fortunately, my advisor has been very understanding and a great boss about this and I wonder what I'll be doing next if this project becomes dead. Marc's free radical polymerization stuff seems pretty sweet, but I don't know if the project is sizable enough to extend to two doctoral students rather than just one. I know that Marc would be an awesome person to work with - he's already been super helpful with questions and advice for as long as I've been here. We'll see, though. I sure would love to quit the GCEP group, though - electrocatalytic oxidation is definitely not my cup of tea and the Friday meetings are a colossal sinkhole for energy, time, and sanity.

I've been offered the head TA position for Professor Trost's class in the winter (third quarter organic chemistry). I am hesitant to accept that position because, frankly, Trost is a jerk to many students and I really would rather not work with people like that. However, the money is nice, I like listening to Trost's lectures, and I've TAed the course before, which are all bonuses. Still, I think that professors should teach courses by choice, not by necessity, and this applies especially to tenured research professors such as Trost.

Speaking of lecturers, I was blown away by Professor Stack's talk on bioinspired epoxidation catalysts at the national American Chemical Society conference last week - I thoroughly enjoyed the talk. Bob was okay - he was intensely motivated, though, when he talked about his carbene work (less so about his Ti radical work) and really sold his work to the audience, and that's a very nice thing to see in what was otherwise basically an amorphous combination of uninteresting 20- or 30-minute long chemistry lectures.

Fall is not quite in the air yet - still summer over here. I miss the Septembers and Octobers in Washington.

7:59pm: A test.
I was bored this evening and decided, for the hell of it, to write a test. The subject? Myself. This was inspired by a Facebook profile that I read this evening - one part was called "20 Answers" and I thought this was a cool idea.

You can take the test if you want - I really don't care. The fun was in making the test, but I am of course curious to see how well the people who know me perform on the test. I won't post the answers, though - it's more enriching to learn the answers for yourself as time goes on, isn't it?

Here is the test.

10:39pm: Long live the 1920s
I just came back from the movies. On four Fridays this summer, the Stanford Theater is playing a silent movie. I missed the first Friday, which played The Merry Widow - I attended this one, though, the second of four, titled Diary of a Lost Girl. It was a well-done movie considering the extremely limited resources that filmmakers from that era had at their disposal. I had personally never seen a silent movie drama (only comedies - Charlie Chaplin or Buster Keaton), so that was cool as well. Too bad I'm not hearing - I would have wanted to see what it would be like to have a person playing a Mighty Wurlitzer organ the entire time to accompany the movie. In any case, the only thing that could have made this night perfect would have been if I had someone to go with. Alas, this was not the case. The next silent movie Friday will be in two weeks ... but I have dcgommenginger visiting me that day, and I'm not sure if he would be up for that kind of experience. The last movie is Phantom of the Opera on September 2nd and I am so there. I cannot wait for that one :) ... September 2nd ... why does that date sound so familiar?

In any case, yes, it is possible for me, a deaf person, to attend a "regular" movie showing. A select few theaters have RWC (rear window captioning) technology which basically provides subtitles for me without serving as a distraction for other, hearing patrons of the same showing. Basically, the subtitles are displayed in reverse on a marquee thing at the back of the movie theater - I borrow a transparent reflector and position it so that the text is reflected and I can align it with the movie screen. It's pretty cool.

2:45pm: Thursday
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3:39pm: Wednesday
I'm sitting here in the lab, waiting for one of the labmates to finish talking with Bob so I can talk to him myself about what I hope to be a quick and painless petition for the Registrar here at Stanford. Long story short, I was supposed to drop seven units because of the intensive course I TAed this summer, and I thought I did, but apparently, the registrar doesn't think so and I will have to pocket the difference for now. Ouch. Hence, the petition to nicely ask the registrar to change my course load to the way it's supposed to be and to erase that unsightly mark on my student bill that is the extra tuition charge. We'll see what happens.

William posted the first set of pictures for his trip to China today, and it is very clear that he is having fun. I am not sure why, but when I looked at these pictures, though, I felt an enormous sense of sadness that lasted for a while even after I stopped looking at the pictures. Why did I become so very sad after looking at the pictures? I should be happy because William is having fun, and that is all I want for him - for him to be happy. He is in China for a very unique experience, both for learning and for adventure, and I think that is a fantastic opportunity for him. So why am I getting sad when I think about that kind of thing? I wish I knew. I'm afraid also that this feeling of sadness will last while he's gone for the entire five weeks, and I don't like it. It's not something that I can hide very easily from anyone ... I guess it's fortunate, then, that William can't see me over the internet and thus cannot see how sad I feel sometimes (including right now as I write this). I mean, I don't think William will be able to answer the question of why I feel this way - I think that answer comes from within and I haven't found it yet. There are a couple of things that I think William could do to alleviate this sadness, but I'm certainly not going to ask him to do anything for me - I want him to do stuff on his own without my influence. In any case, if this sadness persists, then the next five weeks are seriously going to blow.

I hope the lab experiment today goes well. We'll see what happens today when I analyze my experimental results. It is tough to come in the afternoons after spending the morning and early afternoon elsewhere because I don't feel like I have anything to do when I'm here. I hope things will improve on Friday, my first full day back here. We'll see, though.

You know, the color pink looks good on some people, but it definitely doesn't look good on the person who just walked past me now.

4:33pm: Update, part II.
Some parts may be redundant based on the last journal entry, but I'm just going to type out what comes to mind. My extemporaneous writing is at my best that way, I think.

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11:52am: Hello.
It has been a long time since I've updated this journal, and a few things have happened since I updated this journal last.

( Update: part I )

That's all for now, I suppose.

2:06am: Blah.
Don't feel like writing much. Finished my mom's project, almost done with spring quarter.

I dunno why, but I feel very blah today - sort of sad, sort of apathetic, sort of pensive, sort of irrational. Oh well.

Will write more later ... if I remember.

1:48am: Yay for memes.
Ganked from dudepower1982.

This is for us. Fill in the blanks as you see fit, reply, and if you want, repost it on your LJ.

1. Name people call you by:
--->

2. Age:
--->

3. Single or Taken:
--->

4. Favorite Movie:
--->

5. Favorite Song:
--->

6. Favorite Band:
--->

7. Kinky or Clean:
--->

8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
--->

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of livejournal?
--->

2. What song reminds you of me?
--->

3. Would you have my back in a fight?
--->

4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
--->

5. What is your favorite memory of us?
--->

6. What is your favorite sexual activity?
--->

7. Would you give me a kidney?
--->

8. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you?
--->

9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
--->

10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?
--->

11. If I were a candy what would I be?
--->

12. Have you ever seen me naked?
--->

13. Do you think I'm a good person?
--->

14. Would you drive across country with me?
--->

15. Do you think I'm attractive?
--->

16. Are there ever times when you want to call me but don't?
--->

17. Have you ever slept with someone famous?
--->

18. If you could change anything about me, would you? what would it be?
--->

19. What is the best advice you can give me?
--->

20.Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
--->

21. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you ?
--->

11:32pm: La monde
Good evening. Welcome to the world of Ron. Enjoy your stay.

The highlight of the week or so that it's been since I last updated was the date with William on Sunday - we went to the Metreon theater in San Francisco to watch The Da Vinci Code. The history is pretty much garbage, as I've noted before about the book, but I liked the story the way it was. The movie, though, was just alright. I think the fact that I read the book kind of ruined the movie for me already since I knew where the dramatic moments would be and what would take place. The acting was not that spectacular either ... all in all, an average movie. Anyway, we watched the movie and ate dinner at some grill joint inside the theater since we weren't really able to find any other restaurants around the area. It was a nice date, though ... I enjoy spending time with William, whatever it is that we're doing together. The point is that we're together, period, and that's all that matters.

This week has been largely centered on a research proposal that I need to write for Bob's class that is due on Friday at 11 am. I'm going to finish my first draft tonight and then ask a couple of people to look it over for feedback. Stupid term papers. It's not the research that I don't like doing - it's the fact that my writing skills have largely gone south since I last took a humanities course. And that was technical writing my junior year - which doesn't really count. I need to do something humanities-y soon so that I can refresh my essay and paper-writing skills in a voice that is not scientific or technical. But I dunno what I would do in that regard. Perhaps a creative writing course. That would be fun. Of course, I took a creative writing course when I was an undergrad, and that teacher sucked, which turned me off from creative writing. Stanford might be different, though.

There is something on my mind tonight, other than the research proposal that I need to write soon. I wrote a rant just now because I am pissed off with William at the moment, but now that I read it, it really doesn't make that much sense to the outside reader, so I'm not going to include it here. But I will need to talk to William about this. In person. It could be a misunderstanding, and if it is, I want to clear it up and I don't want to do it over a long distance with AIM. After all, Chris and I know how much misunderstandings royally suck, especially if it's one that's induced when we're apart. I just wish I could do it tonight, but William is likely busy with whatever shit he has to do tonight. So ... another day. But right now, I'm going to have to control myself when I talk with him lest I bitch him out, which I have been known to do to other people - not a pleasant experience for the person.

I think there is pretty strong evidence of karma - everything that William's been unintentionally dishing out at me is pretty much everything that I dished out at both Chris and Daved in the past. One striking example to add to the stuff that I've listed in the past is the indecisiveness that I've been infamous for in the past. Oh, how Chris and Daved (especially Daved) hated making decisions about us about anything - where we were going for dinner, what we would be doing, etc, etc. And guess who's been making a lot (not all, though) of the decisions/suggestions lately? Me. Ironic, isn't it? Chris and Daved would probably get a kick out of the (very minor) complaints that I've had since they'd been complaining to me about my inability to make a decision for two years each.

Ahh... relationships. Despite the things that I've commented on in this journal, I am really very happy with my relationship with William. He is an amazing boyfriend, and does do things to make me happy. I know he genuinely cares about me and my well-being, which is a nice thing to know. There are a few moments, though, when William does something that I don't like. But overall, he's a good person, inside and out, and I am fortunate that we've both met.

10:52pm: Thursday
I got a bit of a surprise in the mail today. I received my FasTrak thing, which allows me to sail through tollbooths here in California without having to stop at a gas station beforehand and get cash/buy a soda so that I have the requisite $3 to cross the bridge to Fremont. The surprise is that I got it today after requesting one yesterday afternoon - didn't expect to get it so fast. I guess California must really want my money in tolls ;-)

I went back to CSD-Fremont so that I could show my arm and my clearly negative status with regards to tuberculosis. I also took the opportunity to talk to the volunteer coordinator there - it looks like I'm set to go for the summer quarter with regards to volunteer opportunities. I'll be taking part in classes (?) once a week and be a supporting volunteer in the residencies there three times a week as well for the duration of the summer period. Dunno what I'm going to do for the fall semester yet. She covered the things that a volunteer should not do (such as be alone with a student, wear my nametag at all times, not give my e-mail address to students, etc, etc). In the end, I need to go back again tomorrow to get my fingerprints done - then I can be back in time for my GCEP meeting and the seminar with black fingers. Yay!

I came home and unwound for a little bit, and then went over to William's dorm room for the very first time. It was quite the umpolung experience, since he has always been the one who's come over to visit. I have to say ... wow, his bed is really elevated. I almost needed a boost to get onto the thing (much to his amusement), but fortunately for me, I didn't need one. He has a nice room, though - I can't imagine having a roommate because I've never had one except for Daved, but I knew Daved before we lived together. Ah well, we had a good time and a nice (but short) nap together, then I headed out while he went to see the midnight showing of Xmen 3.

I'm here now... not sure what I want to do now, though. Ah well.

About yesterday ... talking with the friend who wishes to remain anonymous helped my mood considerably, and William was also helpful in cheering me up after I told him that I was in a funk earlier that night. Next time I'm in one of those funks again, I'll let William know (if he's online, that is) and see what happens.

10:06pm: Wednesday
I'm in a funk at the moment ... I've been in this mood for the last few hours, and I'm not sure when I'm going to get out of it.

I stayed at the lab very late last night - and I woke up very early this morning so I could bake a cake for Bob's birthday that was last Saturday. He requested a German chocolate cake, and I complied with that request. The only thing, though - I didn't know that it was a meringue-based cake, so it took considerably longer to bake the cake than I thought. So I had to skip Bob's class. Again. The cake was decorated in the traditional sense with a coconut frosting - "silage" frosting, actually. I don't like German chocolate cake myself (and it turns out that many of the others didn't either), but my interpreter said that the cake was outstanding (she likes it, obviously). And what did Bob say? "It's very good." I had to fight my urges to say something back to him because I hate that kind of comment.

Bob seemed to be in a bad mood today. I was offered a TA position for the summer quarter - a four-week intensive period for first-quarter organic chemistry during the first half of the summer. The thing, though, is that I need Bob's approval, and I've e-mailed him twice already about it, and still haven't heard back from him. That pisses me off - Bob has never been very good with e-mail, which is bad because, I don't know, it's the only way for us to reliably keep in contact. But whatever.

I went home and took a nap because I really needed one. And now I'm in the lab mixing up chemicals and making new compounds. And I've been "chatting" with William for the last couple of hours. Why the quotation marks? Because he, just like I was four years ago, is not a very responsive person on AIM. If I bring up a topic, he replies, and that's it for the next 20 or 30 minutes. Then I bring up something else and he replies, and that's it... and the cycle repeats. I understand now how Chris felt four years ago when I did the same thing to him. I like to think that I've improved my IM behavior significantly, but that may not be the case still.

I don't think William realizes how much I really hate hearing a certain phrase. I will say something that has a sad connotation - like, say, how I didn't really have friends growing up. And what does he say in response to that? "That's too bad." Gee, way to make me feel better about myself. Of course, he's not the only one guilty of that - other people have done similar things. I don't understand how that would help a person feel better - saying that something is too bad is not exactly a morale booster. And that is why I'm a little apprehensive about going to William about an issue that I have (unrelated to the relationship) - I'm not sure what would happen: would I be cheered up, would I feel just as lousy as before, or would I feel worse than before? How would he approach such a situation? I don't have the answers to these questions ... and I'm afraid of finding out. This comes to mind because I'm feeling particularly sad about some things, and I could definitely use some cheering up.

Blah.

7:51pm: Update.
Can't believe today's Tuesday already. Time flies.

As for what I did last weekend ... well, William was out of town (he went to Yosemite with a bunch of people from his dorm). I chose to spend some time in the lab doing a reaction that I despise because it never works out smoothly. After that, I had an interesting experience. You see, I met a new person on Facebook and we've been messaging each other back and forth. On Saturday night, he IMed me and we elected to go for coffee at two in the morning. We ended up chatting in his car with pen and paper until around 3:30 am. He has a very particular sense of humor that I like, and I can see us becoming good friends in the future. He insisted on keeping the paper that we had our conversation on for some reason that I have not yet been able to figure out. In any case, I had fun.

Sunday was spent cleaning my apartment up - cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, sitting area, and the bedroom with their respective cleaning methods. I also did laundry, including washing the two sets of bedding that I have, which was nice. The laundry room was packed, though, so I had to do my laundry in two shifts instead of doing it all at once like I usually do. Then William came over to my nice and clean apartment so that felt good. It's been too long since my apartment was that clean, and that bothers me, but shit happens. Oh, and I also did some more work on my mother's project ... and I am done with one part. That makes me happy.

What did I do yesterday? William and I hung out in my apartment until early afternoon, then he left. I came into the lab to set up a reaction and do other stuff, then I left. William came over again last night as well. I don't remember what else I did yesterday O_o Oh well.

Today, I went over to the school for the deaf in Fremont. It was a bit farther than I thought it would be, but the total commute is around an half hour each way. There, I had a TB test and picked up the volunteer packet. I hope I do something interesting and worthwhile there - this means that I hope I won't be stuffing envelopes :-) And it's back to the lab for me..

So ... this has been a boring week so far. Oh well. Maybe this weekend will be fun or interesting. Who knows?

2:10am: Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday
I can't remember what I did on Wednesday ... I remember it being exceptionally busy, though. Let me see.

I skipped Bob's class so I could work on the Powerpoint presentation that I'd forgotten I had to do for the group meeting. Luckily, I had a paper in mind for it - I just hadn't gotten around to do it. That went okay - and the presentation went alright. I wish I knew more about the topic, though, but the paper itself was a preliminary results kind of paper that suggests several interesting things without any evidence to back them up. In any case, I am glad that I won't have to do a presentation for a few weeks hence.

I remember the seminar that day - the speaker wore an exceptionally bright gold tie with very dark colored-clothes. My interpreters would eat me alive if I ever did that for a presentation. In any case, after the seminar, Debbie and I got together to do some work on the project that I will be doing this weekend so that I can finish the thing before my mom's birthday.

How could I forget the slightly controversial thing I did on Wednesday? I volunteered to grade the midterm for William's class. I, unfortunately, did not have the foresight at the time to ask William in advance if it was alright with him - I thought that, well, I'm not going to be grading his test or even looking through it. I'm not like that - I respect his privacy in that kind of situation. And I never saw his test through the whole thing - if I did, I would just close my eyes and pass it on to the next grader because I don't want to know what William might not want me to know. (His handwriting is recognizable enough for me to know that it's his test and not someone else's.) But William had a problem with it ex post facto - but it seems to mostly be because he didn't want to think about the test that day, and when he looked at me that evening, he associated me with the test. Needless to say, I felt awful that night, and I know I won't be doing that kind of thing again.

Thursday ... I basically went grocery shopping, got trained on the GC/MS, and went to an interesting chemical engineering seminar about synthesizing hydrocarbon fuels from biomass sources (i.e. glucose from corn). Since it was chemical engineering, not chemistry, the speaker dwelled a bit too much on the exact type of alloy that was used for the catalyst and the whole apparatus setup (spoken like a true plumber!), and had the molecular formulae arranged very strangely in his presentation. Nonetheless, it was a good one to go to. William came over Thursday night to hang out before he had to head out later that night to watch Lost (a show that I've never seen, the horror!). That night, I did something quite dumb - I drove over to his dorm with the sleeping bag that he needed for the trip to Yosemite this weekend while he biked over from my apartment. And, instead of parking and escorting him to his dorm like the perfect boyfriend should, I handed him the sleeping bag, said my farewells, and drove off. Can you say moron? My thought process at that moment was, well, he's late for his get-together with his friends for the TV show, so why take any longer than I should? Oh well, it's in the past now.

Today, I decided to start a new schedule. I'll be coming into the lab around noon-1:30 and leaving at around 2 to 3 am in an attempt to find a body cycle that works for me. And today, I have a renewed appreciation of working at such a late hour - the lab is quiet and it is nice to walk through the empty lab when I'm stuck on something. It's very calming, I think. And it's not like I'm missing out on any social time that I could be having because, well, no one talks to me in this lab even though they will happily chat away with anyone else who happens to be around. Plus the NMR is pretty vacant after around 8 pm, so I don't have to worry about booking an NMR time slot like I did before, and I can walk over to the GC/MS if I need to as well. I could get used to this ;-)

In any case, the GCEP meeting was cancelled today (yay!!) and so my interpreters and I went out to the Coupa Cafe in downtown Palo Alto that has great tea and chocolates. Today, they had a fantastic-looking (and tasting) cream of tomato soup so I had that as well. The seminar today about Chinese medicine was extremely interesting and I think the speaker did a wonderful job with the presentation. Too bad William was already on his way to Yosemite. Oh well.

I got the feedback today from my seminar last week. I have to say, I found it interesting that some people commented on my lack of a laser pointer. For one, I can't sign very clearly with one hand, much less when trying to concentrate at pointing the laser pointer at the right place. And it's not like many of the seminar students can use a laser pointer effectively either - they usually just wave it all over the screen making for a very annoying distraction for me since I am trying to read the slides and watch the interpreters at once. In any case, I agree with most of the feedback I received. Unfortunately for the students who wrote the feedback, I recognized quite a few peoples' handwriting, including the one person who gave me the B- for my talk. Bob's handwriting was obviously the easiest to recognize yet he gave me no constructive feedback - he just said "Good topic, good coverage!" and gave me an A-. Weird. In any case, I'd like to do another seminar, but I'm not sure when that will be.

9:40pm: Tuesday
Today basically broke down into two things.

First, I finished the problem set and rewrote the whole thing to make it look all nice and pretty for when I hand it in. After all, the TA isn't an egyptologist and therefore wouldn't be able to read the hieroglyphics that I call the first draft of my homework assignment. Plus, I noticed a couple of mistakes that I made ... and I have questioned the veracity of one little part of the problem set, so I made sure to back those up with hard evidence. All in all, I feel good about the problem set.

Second, I went to a cochlear implant lecture this evening sponsored by the ASL club here at Stanford. Last night, there was a screening of Sound and Fury, which is a documentary that I've seen several times over, so I didn't attend that. I wonder how many people did, though. In any case, today's presentation was on the opposite side of the issue - from a cochlear implant specialist's perspective. There were a couple of things that offended me, but the speaker was quite diplomatic for the most part. So I'm not sure what to make of the talk as a whole, though. I couldn't tell whether the things that he said about the deaf community was just lip service to appease the pro-deaf crowd since he said some pretty damning things about deaf people at the beginning of the talk. In any case, I'm not going to take it personally since it is his job to take the stance of fixing hearing loss. I'm much more interested in William's reaction to the documentary that I mentioned - since he is, after all, the son of an otologist who also does cochlear implant work. Oh yeah, William attended the talk ... yay me.

Other than that ... I'm feeling spoiled by William, and I'm not complaining at all. I mean, I've seen him for the past three days in a row, and that makes me very, very happy indeed. The conversation that William wanted us to have last night was indeed about the issues that I had in the letter that I wrote, but he didn't mention my LiveJournal (nor did I ask him if he reads it). It could all be one big coincidence ... or not. At this point, I don't care... I'm just happy that we had it.

Dunno what I'm doing tomorrow. I'll decide tomorrow!